I’m filling out my party schedule thing at Build A Bear and I look like a total perv.
Guest of Honor Age: 33
Average Age of Guests: 6

Whatever, we’re gonna stuff bears and have fun.

(If anyone else wants to come that’s great but I’m only paying for the bears of the little baddass dudes I know that are under 10)

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ... everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see .... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals* came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you
have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to “press one” to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are
squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
- no idea who wrote this.

Mine too.
That is all.
(and they are ILLEGALS. Undocumented Workers implies they all work.)

Welp out of all the thousands of applicants. *I* was the one that Dunder Mifflin wanted to hire for their Charleston, South Carolina branch. I am REGIONAL MANAGER BABY. Now, to go play amongst my minions.

I am looking for an Assistant TO THE Regional Manager.

i was on flickr..
looking around..
this dude has a collage of JUMP pictures from 9-11.
sick.. seriously.. disturbed.
now i really have to vomit.
you can’t comment on them either.

Ugh, first migraine I’ve had in months… and it’s a doozer. Lovely.

Weather heated right back up and I just got cute socks I want to wear. :(
Saturday forecast says low of 58 so that’s promising.

Humane Society sent me MORE address labels today so if anyone wants a letter just pop me an email address. I need to get rid of some of these. =D

And for the record, I know that there are all sorts of wonderful blog charities out there but for fuck sake people stop “mass emailing” me to ask me to donate. Stop adding me to your generic mailing lists to tell me when you updated. Do you know that’s on the border line of spam illegal?
I will NOT donate unless it is something that can’t be prevented. Example? I will NOT donate to AIDS research. Wear a condom.. or ask someone else for money. I WILL donate to Humane Society. Animals are so much nicer than people. I will NOT donate to political parties. I vote and I network besides Republicans are mostly old rich farts anyway so go ask them for money. I WILL donate for Autism Research - and so on and so forth.
Basically, the next spam email I get telling me about your stupid update I’m going to email you back telling you about my stupid bowel movement.